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I'm sitting at home, on reserve, not a soul in the house. No one to hold me accountable, the food is controlling me, although I haven't given it complete control.  I haven't gotten myself up off the couch to go into the fridge and get that swiss cake roll that is screaming my name, yet...

...and I don't plan on it.  So I turned to the blog.  A place I where can vent my frustrations about my husband even buying those stupid things.  Why?  Why does he insist on buying everything under the sun that I don't want to eat, but it is there, so of course I'm going to be tempted!  It's not his fault that I am fat, I chose to eat what I've eaten in the past and I can choose to either eat that swiss cake roll or I can choose not to eat that swiss cake roll.  Before starting the blog, and this whole life change, I would have said "screw it, no one will know, just eat it!"! I'm trying to remember I'm in control and you hold me accountable.

I feel like I am too early in this process to give in and let myself have a treat like that.  I haven't earned it yet (so I tell myself), maybe in a couple of weeks I will feel like I've earned it.  Maybe if I get up off the couch and do a little cardio, I will feel like I've earned it, but I don't see that happening.

Have I shared that I feel unmotivated to work up a sweat?  Heather and I have met the last 2 Sundays to go on our weekly walks, those are nice and we get uninterrupted chat time, but man I am so exhausted afterwards, that I just want to get home and crash!  In my mind, I know to maximize the benefits of Weight Watchers means that I need to get moving, but I continue to make excuses.  My excuse today is that I'm on reserve, which means I am on call.  I will have two hours to get dresses, out of the house and to the airport.  Not much time to get back home if I am out running!

I'm hoping that after my first weigh-in I will feel more motivated to get my butt of this couch!!  I heard a rumor that a friend of ours *cough, cough Ame* might be thinking about starting another boot-camp.  I did one of hers last year and felt wonderful after it was over, but that was short lived!  This time, I will not let my hard work go to waste!  This is a lifetime commitment...

~Kristie