Mind Games

I've got this mind game going on inside my head.  

I've got this little voice in my head that says since I'm doing this lifestyle change (because I do realize this is a lifestyle change), that I will never be able to have the foods that I enjoy.  I know that isn't true, I know that it is a matter of portion control and that I can have the foods I love just in moderation.  I know that.  I do, I really do.  But then, something in me just freaks, and I want that food (say, I don't know, Chick-fil-a or a coke) more and more and when I give in and I have that food, I can't get enough of it.  I hope that I can get over this soon, because I can't handle this see-saw.  I can't handle the cravings and the wants and the I can't haves!  

On a better note, I currently can't stand the smell of fried foods or McDonald's!  :)

~Kristie

A New Beginning & Other Ramblings

So, after posting the video I came across on Friday, I have read almost all of this guy's blog. His story is definitely about losing weight but it is more importantly about DOING LIFE.  He blogged every day.  He ate well, excercised a lot, and had great friends that did it right beside him.  He made his journey about experiencing life.  His feelings about being fat and over weight are a lot of how I feel.  So, with the start of a new week, I'm going to start doing life.  I am very tired of being inspired for a week and feeling great and then the enthusiasm wears off. 

It's funny, I have some great friends that will ask me if I worked out today and send me some ideas of how to get my workout in.  But you know what?  That actually demotivates me.  Is that weird?  It shouldn't be that way, right?  That should make me want to work out, right?  Why is that when I'm asked about it and told I should, I just want to sit on the couch and do nothing?  Is it because it has to be my choice??

So, after seeing a few blogs and getting inspired (I'm kinda sick of that word, lol) I think the thing I like most about some of the blogs are pictures and videos.  Those keep everything real, I think.  So, as much as I hate, despise pictures of myself, I'm going to start doing it more.  I'm going to take progress pictures and maybe some video.  I do think it will be awesome to look back on everything.

I also find myself saying things like, well this guys doesn't have kids, doesn't work so he has so much time to go work out and "do" life, but those are just excuses.  There are people that have much busier lives than me and they do so much more than I do. 

So, I'm getting back on this doing life thing and let's hope it sticks this time.  lol  It will stick this time.

~Heather

Friday Night Inspiration

I came across this very inspirational video while web surfing after eating a turkey cheese burger, fries, a real coke and an Oreo milkshake!  OMG!  Did I really eat all of that in one sitting??  It has been a long time since I've been this uncomfortable and I feel terrible.  I don't feel bad about eating that but I physically feel terrible!!  So, this video is exactly what I needed to see just two weeks {gasp} before my first 5k. 



I literally started tearing up at the end. Such a great story and a great song to go with it. 

~Heather

Avoidance

Avoidance...it's what I've been doing lately.  You can tell by my lack of blogging.  I've been avoiding this whole new lifestyle.  I've been watching what I've been eating but that's about it.  I have known that I haven't walked in a while and I have quickly changed the subject when my husband has asked about it.  I have not pulled out my sticker chart because I know what it will tell me.  I think, "What's the point of looking at it? I haven't put a sticker on there in over a week...."  Well, I can't avoid it.  This is my life.  I can't avoid life.  I can't avoid the fact that I have people noticing I'm not blogging.  I can't avoid I am committed to running a 5k in 2 months.  It has been exactly 2 weeks since I've walked.  (besides running the Jailbreak with friends...but I guess that does count because that was some hard work!)

So, I'm back.  It's time to pick up where I left off!  It's time to add stickers to my chart.  (lol, I love how that so sounds like I'm 5!!)

~Heather

Find Your Strong

With school starting last week, I've had a very hard time finding a time to get my walk/run in.  Carter has to be at school between 7:00 and 7:30 and Preston and Liam have to be at school at 9 and John starts working around 7:30ish.  The sun isn't coming up until around 6:45 and I'm not comfortable going out while it is still dark.  And it is so freakin' hot here right now, any time after 7:30ish is absolutely miserable.

I did work out yesterday for a short 30 minutes which is better than not doing anything.  However, I didn't feel like it was enough.  I worked out over at my good friend's house on her treadmill.  Definitely a nice change of pace and she helped me tons with encouraging words and pushing me a little further than I wanted to go.

This morning, I went out and decided to start the Couch to 5k program.  UUGGGHHH!!  That's what I have to say about that.  It was terrible.  I almost had to call John to come pick me up.  My shin on my left leg hurt so bad.  My first mile was about 17 minutes which isn't too bad for still walking A LOT but I was in so much pain by the end that I was averaging a 21 minute mile.  I guess I need to concentrate this week on building my endurance up a little to get back in the groove and start the 5k training next week?  Part of me feels like I'm making excuses but the last thing I want is to injur myself. 

I ran across this picture this morning and I really like it.  It says "Find Your Strong."  I think everyone has their own strengths and when it comes to getting healthy you need to do what is best for you.  My strong right now is not my running but I want it to be.  I know it's in there...I've had it once before.  I will find my strong again!!!

I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!!!

~Heather

Cravings

You know how earlier this week, I posted that I was having a hard day and craving really terrible things??  Well, I have found that that craving is not going away.  Very frustrating.  So, today I decided that I just need to give in to the craving and then maybe it will go away.  Maybe??

In my quest for this craving I have eaten some pretty bad things.  And made some pretty poor choices.  However, I think that since I haven't actually eaten what I'm craving I'm still left wanting.  Does that make sense??

So, my big craving this week??..... Jalapeno Poppers

I did a little research this morning on good ole' Pinterest, because all the best are on there, right? lol (Have I mentioned that I love this site and think everyone should be one there?? {cough, cough, Kristie!!})  I came across a recipe for "healthier" jalapeno poppers.  I bought all the ingredients and now I just need to make them. 

Jalapeno Popper Recipe

It's actually a very cool website where I found them.  Hungry Girl.  This particular recipe she compares to Arby's Jalepeno Poppers and has the WW points calculated.  I will be sure to let everyone know how they turn out!! :)

~Heather

Having a Hard Day

For some reason, I am totally off track today.  I'm very unmotivated.  I'm craving terrible foods.  I just want to sit on the couch and do nothing.  Maybe it's exhaustion catching up to me, maybe it's stress, maybe it's hormones...the list could go on and on.  I have to remember though to not let those "reasons" turn into excuses.  {sigh} What do others do to get past those cravings?  How do you combat the exhaustion?

Stupid Cookies

I made cookies for Carter's first day of school.  I wanted to bake them so he would have something special to come home to.  Well, evidently the self control that I've had the past couple weeks just went totally out the window.  I had five, yes, count, 1...2...3...4...5!!!! cookies!! And they were DELICIOUS!!!  I don't feel too terrible because I did have the extra pts and I can't completely deprive myself but come on... I could have totally stopped at 1 or 2.  Oh well, track it in my food journal and move on.  This just proves that I can't have cookies in the house or else I will eat them.  Need to at least make it a little more into this journey before I purposefully put temptation in front of me.  Tomorrow is a new day and it will be better!!! :)

~Heather

I.AM.FAT!

Let me introduce myself...

Hi, I am Kristie and I am fat!

I am fat, not obese (although, if you look at my BMI, I am considered obese, but I don't consider myself obese).

I have a husband of almost 6 years and 2 kids, Cutter (3.5) and Gracie (2).  I have approximately 55 pounds to lose to get my skinny back.

I say I am fat, not because I have low self esteem, but because I have been lying to myself the last 5 years.  I have told myself over and over and over again, that I am not fat and I am.  I want to change that.  I love myself enough to want to be healthy for me, for my husband, for my kids and their kids.

Part of my problem is my job.  I have been a flight attendant for almost 10 years.  When I started I was in a size 4-6, now I'm in a 14 (how's that for reality!)!!!  Ouch!  It is so easy to eat out at the hotels, in airports or even airplane snacks (yuck!!)!  And let me tell you, they are NOT healthy.

My plan for kicking butt and getting my skinny back is joining Weight Watchers and workouts.  I have to commit to working out on my overnights, even when all I want to do it lounge around and enjoy the peace and quiet.  I have a goal of 40 lbs in 20 weeks, that can be done right?  YES, it can...and I am going to prove it to you.

Starting tomorrow 8/21, I'm starting my weight loss journey and I can't wait to see the results!

Thanks for holding me accountable....I'm counting on you!!!!

xoxo-kristie